The Role of Family in Your Conditioned Self

Understanding our conditioned self is like peeling back the layers of an onion.

Let me explain.

We’re all familiar with the saying—it’s about going deeper, beneath the surface, to discover what lies beneath. Our conditioned self is where our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and reactions reside. 

Sometimes, our reactions seem out of proportion to the current situation. Why do we get so angry, sad, or anxious over seemingly small triggers?

It often goes back to our upbringing, the family environment we grew up in.

Whether it was the family we were born into or the one we were brought into, those early experiences shaped us profoundly. 

Internal Family Systems Theory sheds light on this. It suggests that within us are different “parts,” each with its own beliefs, emotions, and desires. These parts developed in response to our family dynamics and life experiences.

So when we react strongly to something, it might not be just about the present moment. It could be our inner child, a part of our conditioned self, responding to something which reminds us of past hurts or traumas. 

Understanding and acknowledging these parts is the first step in healing.

The goal is to become the compassionate adult for our wounded inner child. This means recognizing when these parts are activated and responding to them with care and understanding. 

It’s like being our own nurturing parent, soothing the hurts and fears that linger from our past.

It’s not always easy to uncover the triggers of our past.

However, by diving into these depths, we can unravel these knots and step into a more empowered present.

Be well and shine bright!
Veronica